I’ve been back from a mission trip in Montana for ten days now. I had thought the hard part of the trip was going to be going there, surprisingly coming home was harder. On the trip there was no room or time for laziness, I understood that things weren’t going to go my way all the time, and there was clear direction everyday. If you went on the trip I’d like to pose a question to you. Are you different? Not, are you going to be different, but are you different right now. Is your relationship with God better? Do you think differently? The hard part for me was that when I got home I was a little different from when I left, but everything about home was exactly the same, for better and worse. The thing that changed the most was the way I view myself in relation to God. I’m more afraid of Him than I was before. I better understand my short comings in light of His perfection. I still have that mindset from the night in the gym. I better understand the deep effect of sin of the human heart. I better understand that Jesus isn’t the best option, He is the only option. The things that didn’t change at home were my lack of patients, the distractions, the temptations, finding direction for the summer, and that big day coming up when I leave home. Theses struggles aren’t any less difficult, but my focus has shifted from trying to win the day on my own to seeking Jesus as humbly and intentionally as possible. There is a line in a worship song that encapsulates my mind and heart pretty well. It says “O to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be! Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee. Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.” Maybe you feel sufficient with the condition of your heart, but mine is continuously focusing on things besides Jesus and I feel powerless to steer it. The last two sentences of that song are always my prayer. That even though I repeatedly offend the King of everything, I want Him to take my heart and hang on to it. It won’t be safe anywhere else. When all is said and done, a week in Montana put me right where I should be. Valuing and craving Jesus and His grace above everything.