December showed up and with it the holiday vibe. A lot of community, friendship, joy, and love. The weather and decorations aren’t the only thing that’s changing though. I’m changing. Everyday I can feel it. My words won’t do it justice. Colors are too lifeless and words are too dull to share it fully. My heart is being broken by God and His light is pouring in through the cracks. Life feels fresh. I’ve been a Christian for two years and some months, but it’s never been as sweet as it is now. I wish I could tell you it’s because I’ve become more diligent in my prayer or sharper in my reading of the bible, but I haven’t. I’m being changed but I’m not doing the changing. My natural tendencies are still to be harsh and passionless. On my own I’m religious and mean. My tongue is sharp and my heart is hard. Jesus is so wonderful though. So intentional, yet patient. So joyful, yet there in my pain. So reliable, even when I’m not. So firm and powerful, yet soft and comforting. I cannot prove to you that God exists. You cannot prove to me that He does not exist. We don’t live out the other areas of our lives based on proof. God is not a math problem, He is a being. He does not claim to show you everything, He claims to love you. We don’t try to prove the love of our families and friends. We enter into relationships with them and experience it. Why would God be any different? I have proof that God exists, but it’s hard for me to show you because it’s on the inside. I dare you to challenge God on this one point and see if you can out do him; give. Pour everything you have into knowing Him deeply and see if you He doesn’t respond. Give him your life; because once you do that you’ll find that He gave you His before you even came up with the idea. I will challenge people and make a likely case for God, but it’s because I love them. We’re in a desert, and I found* water. It’s not a mirage, I’ve tasted it and it is sweet. It’s changing me. There’s too much to keep to myself. It has to pour out. It pours out in love, joy, friendship and community. Don’t let the decorations be the only thing that changes for you this holiday season, because that’s not what it’s about. It’s about the birth of God into human history. It’s about God providing water in a desert. You couldn’t put a better gift on your Christmas list.
*The water actually found me :)